all of the things i know now but didn't know then

The last days of the year have been long and slow. Time is almost non-existent. We go to bed when we want, wake up when we feel like it, and eat when we're hungry. I've been spending my afternoons back in the kitchen, leisurely and lovingly concocting meals that take well beyond my typical 20 minutes to prepare. Hot pots of laksa, crusty loaves of bread, and elaborate midnight snacks. For the first time in a long time I'm not completely caught off guard by the closing of another year. I checked off all my boxes in 2014, resolved above and beyond what I thought I was capable of. I was challenged and stretched, pushed and pulled, and knocked to the ground. I fought my worst critic, myself, and I won. I forgave and let go. I chose joy. I chose to encourage rather than criticize my peers. I chose to stand on my own two feet, and not bite the bait. I found the strength to get on the right path, finally. Finally! I've come to accept the pain with the joy, and for all of it I am grateful.

Here's to new beginnings. Happy 2015, all. I'll be back shortly with a whole whack of recipes.

currently:

listening to this

reading this

drinking this

can't stop cooking out of this

somewhere

Currently in Paris, wide-eyed and filled with wonder. 

I wanted a perfect ending. I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, leaning into change, taking the moment and making the best of it without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity. 

– Gilda Radner

Also, Currently (every girl everywhere edition):

Reading this.

Listening to this. 

Common Table Co.

So delighted about my little feature on The Common Table Co. today. I'm talking ceramics, chocolate chip cookies, and the significance of gathering around the table and sharing a meal. Check it out here. 

lately

Some days dinner is baked olives and a glass of rosé, and I am absolutely okay with that. 

Baked Olives with Garlic and Thyme

This isn't really a recipe, so much as a method. Perhaps you will, like me, find that olives simply taste better when warmed up, especially as the days grow shorter and colder. 

assorted olives (my preference is Castelvetrano olives, as they are buttery and mild and really soak up any added flavours)

garlic cloves, sliced

fresh thyme (or other fresh, hearty herb of your choice)

olive oil

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Toss olives with sliced garlic, fresh herbs, and a heavy drizzle of olive oil. Bake in the oven, stirring occasionally, until garlic cloves look roasty and golden.

currently:

reading this

listening to this

craving this

i do it anyway

We woke up to rain and spent the morning lazily watching golden leaves float down from the sky. I asked you how to say "happy" in Korean, and you said you didn't know. 

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We're technically two days into Autumn, but I'm still finding stone fruit and raspberries at the market. I've made this cake twice in the past two weeks and ate it it for breakfast every day until it was gone. 

A cake for midsummer adapted from Ripe by Nigel Slater

• 3/4 cup (175g) butter
• 1 cup minus 2 tablespoons (175g) golden baker’s sugar
• 7 ounces (200g) ripe apricots, 4 or 5
• 2 eggs
• 1 1/3 cup (175g) self-rising flour (I used 1 1/3 cups a.p flour + 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder + a pinch of salt)
• 1 scant cup (100g) ground almonds
• 2 tablespoons milk
• 1 1/2 cups (170g) raspberries

Line the bottom of an 8-inch (20cm) springform cake pan with parchment paper. Preheat the oven to 350°F (180°C).

Cream the butter and sugar together in a stand mixer until pale and fluffy. Halve, pit, and coarsely chop the apricots. Beat the eggs lightly, then add to the creamed butter and sugar a little at a time, pushing the mixture down the sides of thge bowl occasionally with a rubber spatula. If there is any sign of curdling, stir in a tablespoon of the flour.

Mix the flour and almonds together and fold in, with the mixer on a low speed, in two or three seperate batches. Add the milk, and once it is incorporated, add the chopped apricots and the raspberries.

Scrape the mixture into the cake pan and bake for an hour and ten minutes. test with a skewer; if it comes out relatively clean, then the cake is done. Leave the cake to cool for ten minutes or so in the pan, then run a thin spatula around the edge and slide it out onto a plate, decorating as the fancy takes you.

currently:
reading this
listening to this

nest | gather

The absolutely beautiful, wonderful crew behind NEST | TOGETHER just launched an online shop and it is filled to the brim with gorgeous goods made by a bunch of crazy talented makers. I'm humbled to be amongst these people, and honored to have been asked to take part. I keep pinching myself after seeing the finished, styled shots. How sweet it is to see things come together and hard work pay off.

Shop NEST | GATHER

black rock

We're here and I needed this so much more than I thought I did. My skin is salty, rosy and freckled, and my mind is finally clear. Time and time again I fail to cope like a regular functioning adult when I become weighed down by life's shit. I sometimes wonder if this means I'm weak, as the things that leave me complete distraught seem to leave others totally unfazed. I spent so much time the past couple days gazing out into an infinite sea, feeling oddly comforted by my smallness. I have more clarity and strength than I've had in a very long while. Leave it to the Pacific to put things back in perspective. 

"breath, dreams, silence invincible calm... you will triumph."

currently:

reading this

listening to this

drinking this

On Tuesday

We brought home the cat and then I burnt the bacon. I set off the smoke alarm and the house smelled like fire.  We fought because you have to tell me the simplest things over and over and over again. The cat slept between your legs and I stayed up watching the shadows on the wall. I can't stop thinking about how to be better, how to drill into my mind that the mistakes I'm making are mistakes I can't make again. My work feels like a teenager: gangly, awkward, easily influenced. I know I have it in me, but why is it so hard to get it right?

currently

listening to this

reading this 

eating these cookies

1/4

Well what do you know. It's June 16. It's Bloomsday! It's also the day I turn 25... a quarter of a century old. The past year has looked everything and nothing like I imagined it would. The learning and growing pains don't shut off after a certain age after all. Although I still don't have much idea what is coming at me next, I'm excited for it, confident in myself and my work. Surely that quiet strength is something that only comes with age and experience. 

Asparagus with Romesco and Parmesan 
Serves 2-6 as a side dish, or 2-4 as a main

I've been making this like craaaaazy lately alongside some fish or even as a light lunch on it's own. The following recipe is more of a rough guideline than a recipe really. Follow your instincts, taste as you go, you know the drill.

2-3 plum tomatoes, roasted
1 red pepper, roasted
4 -5 cloves of garlic, roasted
Approx. 3 tablespoons red wine vinegar
1/2  cup almonds, lightly toasted
Approx. 1/4 cup olive oil
Salt and Pepper to taste

Asparagus, cooked (grilled or roasted preferred)

Parmesan, shaved

For the Romesco Sauce:
Roast vegetables until tender and toast almonds. Cool to room temperature. Add veggies, almonds, red wine vinegar, olive oil and a pinch salt and pepper to food processor. Combine until everything comes together and almonds are coarsely ground. Taste. Season with more salt and pepper as needed.

To Assemble:
Spoon a generous portion of romesco sauce on the bottom of the plate. Top with roasted asparagus. Top that with shavings of parmesan.

again begin

Of course I have absolutely no idea where to begin.

Which isn't entirely true, because it always comes back to food for me. Always. And although I really don't want this space to focus solely on gastronomy, today it feels like a good place to start.

I share a kitchen with two pet tortoises, a soon to be cat, and a talented musician who uses every room in our teeny tiny apartment except the kitchen as a recording studio. I have no natural lighting, although sometimes on a sunny day I get one lone sunbeam across my kitchen sink from the lightwell out the window. My appliances are ancient and mostly hand-me-downs, with the exception of a KitchenAid mixer and some stunningly beautiful All Clad sauce pans (thanks Poppa!). Most meals come together in the hour I have between finishing my day job and heading off to my studio. Sometimes it's something super quick and easy, like avocado toast topped with Maldon sea salt, and sometimes it's something more laborious like pan fried fish topped with Romesco sauce. The honest to goodness truth is that no matter how busy or anxious I am at the end of the day, I look forward to my time in the kitchen. Even though nearly everything you could imagine has changed between then and now, that fact still remains the same.

Tian aux Legumes d'Été

Adapted from The Pantry at Delancey

I make this tian all year round using whatever vegetables look best at the market.

6 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
2 leeks, white and pale-green parts only, quartered lengthwise and cut into 1/4- inch slices (1 1/2 cups)
1 garlic clove, minced
Coarse salt and freshly ground pepper, to taste
1 zucchini, unpeeled, very thinly sliced (1 cup)
1 yellow squash, unpeeled, very thinly sliced (1 cup)
2 plum tomatoes, very thinly sliced (3 cups)
1 small Italian eggplant, unpeeled, very thinly sliced (1 cup)
1/4 cup dry white wine, such as Sauvignon Blanc
1 tablespoon chopped fresh oregano
Grated Parmesan, for serving

Preheat oven to 375. Heat 3 tablespoons oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add leek and garlic, season with salt and pepper, and cook until soft, about 4 minutes. Spread in a 9-inch gratin or round baking dish.

Arrange vegetable on leek in slightly overlapping circles, alternating zucchini, squash, tomato, and eggplant.

Top with wine, 1 tablespoon oil, oregano, salt, and pepper. Bake 30 minutes. Drizzle with remaining oil. Bake until vegetable are tender, 30 minutes more. Serve with Parmesan.

And so

Hello, I'm here.